My eyes! They burn!

Yet again I am judging Reflections contest entries. To all young writers: read more good writing. Practice. Try to have something to say. Have someone read your writing, comment on it, and then write another draft.

I wasn’t going to post any exerpts this year, but this one just cries out:
“The thought of my father leaving me, his only daughter, for another woman made me feel noxious.”
Oooh, me too!

2005 Top Reads

Here’s my top reads for half of the year, since I’ve been posting monthly lists. Your mileage may vary considerably.

Best Teen Reads:
Invisible, Hautman
He’s just an ordinary dweeb with a popular guy pal. Only not so much.
Good Brother, Bad Brother, Giblin
Riveting true story of the parallel lives of Edwin Booth and John Wilkes Booth.
Diary of Pelly D, Adlington
A novel of a diary found after the “disappearance” of a whole class of people. Based (very well) on the author’s research on war diaries.
World’s Worst, Frauenfelder
The best worst book I’ve read.
I Am the Messenger, Zusak (actually, I would put this in the adult list, but I originally read it due to recommendations by people who work with teens)
What does it take to be a hero?

Best Grown-Up Reads:
Van Helsing’s Night Off, Mahler
Mostly wordless comics, entirely funny. I hope more of his work gets published in the US.
Poo Bomb, Vogel
Based on the blog, but in a good way.
Working Fire, Unger
This book not just good because firefighters are cool.
Men Who Stare at Goats, Ronson
It’s another nice combination of funny and educational, in a creepy way.
Fray, Whedon
I only just this year got around to reading it, and again I know that Joss is God.
Two Wheels North, Gibb
A small press book that deserves wide acclaim. Excellent true adventure.

Late entry: Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, Foer

Ooh, I hope operators are standing by!

So I get a bulk—er, standard—rate envelope, with no return address, and inside it is a plain white card with a weird abbreviation of the name of my bank at the top, and the amount of my original mortgage loan below that. The text reads

Your mortgage with [weird abbreviation of bank name] can be re-negotiated with a 5 year payment rate of 2.00%*. This yields a monthly payment of [Some amount not much less than my current P&I amount].

Then there’s an 800 number to call and a case number to reference. That footnote? In print substantially smaller than anything else on the card, it reads

4.66 APR/40 YR Term ADJ / P and I / [blah, blah] / excludes taxes and insurance / rates subject to change / certain conditions may apply
[Name of outfit making this offer] not affiliated with [weird abbreviation of bank name]

Really? I can sign up for a 40-year mortgage? With people who are so proud of their company that its name appears only in the smallest type on the card? Oh, happy day!