Okay, who farted on Mars?

No news from the bottling folks. I suspect I’ll have to walk over there to get anybody’s attention. A delightful loyal reader made me aware of this report from a couple years ago (well, okay, the reader actually pointed me at this), so maybe I shouldn’t even bother trying to find it, if they’re that sloppy with preparation.I do enjoy the FDA enforcement reports, in any event.

An excerpt from a confirmation email sent to me by a hotel chain: "We’re sending you this confirmation notice electronically for your convenience. [Chain] keeps an official record of all electronic reservations. We honor our official record only and will disregard any alternations to this confirmation that may have been made after we sent it to you." Well, what if I correct the spelling of "alterations," huh? What about that?

If this is true, how do you explain this? Yes, they considered the bird feathers contamination, but if they’re producing the stuff in a "secure facility," how does that happen?

Do you ever have trouble finding just the right words?

Me: "I’m trying to find retailers in this area who carry caffeine-free Barq’s."
Receptionist at my local Coca-Cola® bottling plant: "I think all Barq’s is caffeine-free; root beer usually doesn’t have caffeine in it."
Me: "Well, it turns out most Barq’s does have caffeine; the only place I’ve seen it not have caffeine is in Richland."
Her: "Richland…?"
Me: "Washington."
She forwards me to somebody in the sales department (or to his voice mail, rather), where I leave a message with my name, phone number, and question. Stay tuned for further developments.
And just by the way, wouldn’t you think you’d want a little better product knowledge in the public face of the company? Sure, they have lots of brands (and note "Caffeine-free Barq’s" on that list), but still….

From IRS Publication 529:
“You cannot deduct the cost of a wristwatch, even if there is a job requirement that you know the correct time to properly perform your duties.”

A dear friend pointed me at this cool language comparison survey. I haven’t fired up IE (which it says it requires) to try it out yet, so I don’t know whether Icelandic is one of the languages they’re measuring.

I finally used a Gazeteer to answer an actual reference question! Which is a little like finally being able to use algebra in everyday life. You spent an awful lot of time learning it, but almost no time using it.

And from yesterday (shame, Craig, shame!): no matter how much you argue with me, I will not keep your mysterious lumpy package for your friend to pick up later in the day.

Sorry for yesterday’s outage. I’m a lamentably tardy bill-payer, but steps have been taken so that it won’t happen again.