In other news, people continue to die from SARS. The CDC has a contrary view to earlier reports that it might be a member of the paramyxovirus family. If transmission of this thing were just a little bit easier, I suspect we’d all be fucked.

I never learned conversation skills in school, but from the looks of a fifties English textbook I just bought, students used to be drilled in appropriate small talk and how to write a letter. I think this information could be quite helpful to the Internet community at large.

Here’s the first of several tips on conversation from Junior English in Action, book 3, 6th edition, 1956.

Say Something

Don’t be afraid to break the conversational ice. You needn’t say anything important or witty. Speak up and try to sound self-confident even though you’re quaking inside. What will you say?

Take a tip from Mary Ellen. She and a girl friend had just been introduced to two boys. The awkward silence that sometimes follows introductions lengthened. Suddenly Mary Ellen said in a tone of great satisfaction, “You know, we had the best scrambled eggs for supper tonight!” “Aw, we had a salad,” complained one of the boys. “How I hate salads!” And the conversation was on.

Simple, wasn’t it? Yet two things about Mary Ellen’s remark are important. She mentioned a topic of general interest — food — and she said something pleasant. When you’re stuck for a topic, remember Mary Ellen and the scrambled eggs.

Activity 1: Thinking Up Conversation Starters

Imagine yourself in each of the following situations. For each case make up three questions to start a conversation.

Example

You start a conversation with a new student in town.

1. Do you have far to come to school?

2. Is our school different from the one you attended last year?

3. Did you have a hard time finding your way around our school your first day here?

1. At a meeting of the Dramatics Club you sit next to a boy or girl you don’t know.

2. Your sister’s friend, a college freshman, calls to take your sister to the movies. Your sister isn’t quite ready.

3. You transfer to a new school. As you wait to get your program card made out, you sit next to another pupil who has just transferred to the school.

4. At the party you meet a boy who plays on your school baseball or basketball team.

Entertaining Public Harm Announcements, brought to you by Worth1000. The ones that make you kinda uncomfortable tell you that it’s quality comedy.

The Wikipedia has a nice concise look at depleted uranium. As you might suspect, it is depleted of its radiation (it’s a waste product of the process of harvesting the radioactive part). It is, however, chemically toxic, like lead. And lead is really really not good for you, and is even worse for small growing persons.

According to the BBC, “The ceremony was being broadcast live in the US on TV network ABC, but it also broke off from the event to relay the latest news on the war in Iraq.” Since I wasn’t watching the packaged-for-domestic-consumption product, I didn’t have to endure that. It’s a shame Michael Moore isn’t more articulate when he doesn’t get final cut. I mean, “fictition”?

Linked through Gone and Forgotten, take a look at this archive of German Propaganda, in translation. The reason for the link is this Nazi debunking of Superman.

Someone called today to ask if we have tax forms (yes) and would we have a certain obscure form (no, but we can print one out from the IRS web site). Could we do this over the phone? (Um, what?)

Technorati has a quick blog link rating thingie– essentially lets you see what lots of people have linked to in the past two hours.

Those who have seen the “Chicken of Tomorrow” short on MST3K will perhaps find interesting resonances in this story about a retired chicken sexer.
Update: sorry, the link’s gone all subscribers-only, so the tales of keeping fingernails exactly the right length to pry open newborn chicks’ nether regions are lost to us.
I don’t recall either "Chicken of Tomorrow" or the Atlantic piece mentioning the vast amounts of chick shit the sexing process involves (gotta clean out the cloaca, you know).

My favorite cartoonist and my favorite sex educator combine forces to make some sexy sex-ed for grownups! Read at your own risk!