Yes, the “funny” aspect of this story is the killer lava lamp (actually a much less funny shard of glass through heart), but here are the elements that make it an FP story:
1. Kent, WA
2. Trailer home
3. the lamp was being heated on the stove for reasons unknown
4. “Police found no evidence of drug or alcohol use.”

Some time ago, I deactivated fpcraig at this domain, after entering it into a "remove me" page. The spam bots are still hitting it—my mail host bounced ten messages in the last month—but even more troubling than that is that my gmail account with that alias is getting spammed. I can only infer that eventually every alias that has ever been identified at any domain will be tried at gmail.
As an experiment, I think I’ll set up an fpcraig alias in another domain I have access to, and which I know gets dictionary-spammed, to see if fpcraig is now just part of the spammers’ alias dictionary.
Update: five years on, I believe the gmail spam was due to some invitations I sent: I have not seen spam to fpcraig at any other domains I have access to.

If you live in a western state, you may, as of today, go to www.annualcreditreport.com to try to examine your credit report at any of the three major credit reporting agencies. So far, Experian’s server failed (the NSAPI plugin says "No backend server available for connection"), and both Transunion and Equifax have been "unable" to show me my report on the web. Less than wholly satisfying. I’d be interested in hearing other folks’ experiences.