Metaphysical Spam

“With Social Security Search you can uncover anything in their past that they are not divulging.”

Brad: Kate, we have to talk.
Kate: What?
Brad: There’s… there’s something I need to know. Well, something I already know.
Kate: Brad, you sound so serious! What is it?
Brad: The report I got back, the report on your social security number. It said that you didn’t really like my mother’s cooking when we visited last Christmas. You said you loved her green bean casserole! How could you just… lie like that?